new spaces
a monologue for tuesday
New Spaces
I love a new space.
The possibilities.
An empty room
house
a yard
a porch
a street
a block
“All the ideas come flooding in and I am plugged in
can really feel your humanity in those moments
fragile moments those, protected”
“Feeling good comes infrequently and it doesn’t last long” she said
“Proud. Excited. Worthy. Confident. Smart. Lovable.”
“How can you feel love if you don’t feel lovable” she said
Do you feel those things too?
I think she drove a wedge between us. I think damage was done, don’t you?
terrible for even thinking of such a things
“you’re the only one”
“Am I the arrogant asshole? The one no one even likes.” She said.
“That’s how it goes down. You ever get that apology that you wanted?” she said
“she will go there when shes like that. the fury that is unleashed knows no bounds.”
“They were so much alike.
In their physical beauty and in their laughter.
Leave things to fester and that’s just what they will do. That internal bleeding sort of thing but it doesn’t show up on the x-ray machine.
A slow constant drip. Drip. Paralyzed with doubt and fear, lack if information.
Didn’t know what to ask for. Constant fear of humiliation. The shame that influenced
my every move.”